The Trap of Memory

 

Back in 2005

If you think back long enough, the memories of the past can be come a trap in a way. Without realizing it, the past can become idealized, a perfect memory. But in reality, it wasn't even close. 

Time has a way of changing the way you think. One moment you'll sit back and say 'Well, it was better about 20 years ago when so and so...'. 

Maybe.

But you introduce old problems and conflicts when you give it the stark light of truth. Yes, sure, being in your 30's would be fantastic wouldn't it?

You're younger, stronger, and can do almost anything. 

But wait.

The past of your 20's is holding you back.

Or maybe your childhood.

Or other awful memories you don't want to think about.

Whether it be family, friends, or former co-workers. It can be a terrible mess.

You can look at the past, but don't live in it. Be sure to give yourself a reality check. Admit that life is a struggle, some people are awful, and that everything moves forward in time. Focus on yourself. Try to be better. Focus your thoughts on today. 

If you can't cope with awful times, perhaps it's best to seek advice from people who know how to help you cope. Life can be difficult, that's for sure. Nothing worth anything is easy, and I know that from experience.

I find the older you get, the bitterness can rise. That awful feeling of hatred for past wrongs, things said, and terrible people.

You need time to move forward. Its not easy. In between your thoughtful memories of the past, is the awful truth of today. 

Be safe out there.