Top Gear Australia: It's pure crap folks

I watch Top Gear BBC quite religiously. I'm not ashamed to say my favorite presenter is James May (Captain Slow). But I decided to try and watch the first episode of Top Gear Australia. First off, this is one of the most creepy and awkward shows I have ever seen. Its like the BBC photocopied the set in 3D and dropped a copy in Australia. Even the presenters have similar names and hair. I thought British teeth are bad, but after watching the Australian presenters, I thought, good God, I've seen horses with better teeth.

Did you ever notice that people who have no idea on how to treat cars usually rev the shit out of them after starting them? Well that's exactly what horse teeth did when he fired up the Lamborghini LP560 on the set. Even better was his asinine comment of "Wow, not bad from a company that makes trackless". Hello? Where the fuck has this guy been? Have they no idea of Lamborghini history and lineage? I guess driving in the Australian bush all day really stunts your brain.

Perhaps the most disturbing aspect of this show is that the women in the audience have to be some of the homeliest people I have seen in my life.Top Gear UK have very attractive women surrounding the hosts, and I know this is not a coincidence.

Then the guest of episode 1 show 1. How to describe a man dressing like a 70's disco lounge singer and tries to appear youthful, but in reality ends up looking like Uncle Chester the Molester. When I saw the show I thought "Fuck, this guy looks like he should be on the pedophile watch list".

Top Gear Russia and Top Gear US have been announced. Be prepared to watch some truly craptastic television if you dare. I'll pass.