Reflections

 

I don't know. Was I ever happy? Yes - with Theresa. But it was tough going. And by God would I give anything to go back, and never leave. But I can't.

Just so much crap has happened since she died in 2019. And yet, here I am, still existing. And while I may have had some minor set backs last October of 2021, I am a different man now. Even compared to June of 2022 this year, I am a different man, and I hope for the better.

I had a lot of stuff taken from me this year. Some of it was my own dignity. Well, no more.

I continue to work out, where possible. 5 days a week is my new goal. Sometimes its hard to get my head into the proper framework, but I push on anyway. So I go for long walks. I have to in order to relieve tension. No rest for the wicked. I've always said that.

Kitty is getting out of his jail cell on October 1st. He was put there because I failed to take into account they don't allow cats here. Fuck. $1200 later, I have 2 long weeks to find work and begin re-integrating back into a normal life again. Theresa would be proud of me💝. 

I've come a long way since then. And it's not the money I'm after. I was never after money. It wasn't like that at all. Money corrupts people in subtle ways. 

I pray for hope and kindness. 

And love.

-Chris