Smoke and Mirrors

 

I've lived long enough to know when smoke and mirrors appear. Like an SR-71 Blackbird in your rear view mirror. When driving, you look in the driver side mirror, objects appear closer than they actually are. And it mirrors a lot like daily life. 

Things appear close but when you do a reveal, all is not well at all. Cracks, lies, and obvious deception appear. And that's what's happened to my life lately. I feel sad knowing people are out there who manipulate, tease, and toy. 

Well, I refuse to participate. I'm a man of honor and worth more than this. As my horrible mother once said, "When people show you who they really are, believe them". And for this only, she's right. I have enough self respect to rebuild from zero. And I will.

My key objectives over the next few weeks and months is to secure a job, work back into the Oil and Gas IT area, and become a productive person in society again. I have given up on dating, quite literally.  When you can see further than everyone else, the road gets a bit old. And predictable.

My one hope is that my beloved cat Kitty is OK, and will be fine when I get him out of the pet hotel on October 1st at 8AM MST. He is the one creature besides Theresa who has never lied to me. Ever.

I sit without wonder and amazement. Disappointment is something I'm used to. God help me find a decent job soon. I know I can work hard, I'm a loyal worker. Time will tell. I won't give up. I once joked that an Italian suit was on my must-have lists. Now I realize that it's a joke, these things don't matter.

And never have.