Past Week

I had last week off, I used the time to slowly clean the apartment. In truth, I hadn't made much progress. Although I did go to a football game with a friend and dinner later on. Today though, I manged to clean 1/2 of the huge box and I found a cache of old love notes and cards... just no.... these are difficult to read.

I found old paperwork when George died, then when Marion died...I had to get rid of that... This past weekend has been especially difficult. I set an goal of going out this Saturday but when the date came I didn't have the guts to get out. I had a fight with my mother earlier in the week, made up, then had some good discussions. We talked about why Theresa always wanted me to write a note to her everyday before I went to work. They were 1-2 lines but always said I love you at the end of it.

My mom said it was because she was feeling very low, and needed re-assurance that I still loved her - in spite of her terrible illness. It made perfect sense.

I remember fighting with her a few times, and once I never left her a note the next day. She was so upset she cried about it. I felt so terrible, I never did it again, and when I did, I always either told her before I left or caught her by talking to her before I leave. I have a lot of those old notes hanging around. It is difficult to read some of them.