Vet and Theresa

She sure loved cats. Theresa loved kitty, who I adopted from the Dartmouth Humane Society, and he was about 6 months old at the time and really cute. He loved to 'spoon' like you see here, only he would spoon with Theresa all night, she would have to contort her body to accomodate this spoiled cat. Of course, when it came time to get the cat into the cat carrier, she wouldn't help me. Even when she was healthy back in 2012 (and required no oxygen), she never wanted to help me round up the cat and put him into the carrier. Too traumatic for her, she said. And so it was always up to me to be the bad guy. I had to get him. This time it took quite a bit of wrangling and turning couches upside down - but he was safely captured.

This picture was taken a month before we got the new furniture last March 2019. She would call him her "Little bub" or "Little boo" or "Little Bear" as he kinda was a teddy bear in most respects. This is not a normal kitty cat. Theresa would often appear contorted in the morning, with the cat upside down, paws in the air, and her foot or arm is cradling him.

"Why do you let him get away with that?" I'd ask her... and she would shrug her shoulders and say "Because I love him". In truth, he was her baby, her little fur baby if you would. I'm sure if you asked her if it was me or the kitty, the kitty would stay. As tradition. I would always joke and say "You know, we could get him back to the shelter...." and Theresa would say "Over my dead body. You would be leaving first". She wasn't joking.

I brought him to the vet yesterday, he had to have his bum shaved, nails trimmed, and some shots. There is some tooth decay, he may require some teeth removed next month. I put this off last year when Theresa was alive...she was dead set against putting the cat asleep. But now, it's me  alone to make this choice. I'm anxious.

If I don't get it done, his tooth decay could cause other, serious health problems. I have to do it. I think she would have wanted me to do it, knowing it would extend his little life. He's been very helpful when Theresa passed.

My mother has been an incredible rock to me. I'm ashamed to admit I yelled at her a few times. When she drinks or takes a mood drug it tends to cause her to act a bit over-bearing and rude. Our personalities clashed and words were said. I feel terrible for yelling. We made up. I still feel horrible.

I'm going to put myself out there before my next birthday this December. That's right... although I am dreading, online dating appears to be an option. I just have no idea where to start...or when.I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life.