Christmas Party

I was debating whether to write about this. My gut instinct was to cancel and stay home, watch some Worlds Most Dangerous Roads videos or some shit and light up. I was proud of that suit. It wasn't cheap, but it also came with  new shoes, belt, and everything. People were amazed when they saw me. All they thought I had was Khaki's and golf shirts.

Yep, I reached up to my go-to at the Bay. Meaning: Random salesperson who can help me build a decent suit. A beautiful woman named MaryAnne helped me. She was from Montreal. I would run into her two more times in the next week.

The second time was when picking up the suit. The third was a random street encounter at 8:30 am. Below is my running summary of the night.
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My goal that night was to only drink the top shelf liquor: rums, whiskeys, vodka, cognac, tequila, etc.  We succeeded in drinking all of the don julio 1942 tequila.Between drinks I had 2-3 glasses of water. I left the party near 12:20 am, tired, and a little drunk.Work graciously provided taxi chits.


I bounced from person to person last night, I drank maybe 8-9 top shelf liquors, I had them listed by most to least expensive in my dropbox on my phone. I could scroll through rum, whiskey, bourbon's, cognac's, everything... I get the best. My favorite is Don Julia 1942 Tequila. Holy shit is it good. It was $45 a shot but free that night. I ordered doubles. I challenged the Teine CFO to a shot challenge. "This is to be sipped" he says. I look into his eyes and say "Not tonight" and slam it back. I put the glass upside down on the table and walk away.

My next favorite was Hennesy XO Cognac and then the flor de cana 25 year old rum. It was fire. I put 2-3 glasses of water between each drink. I STILL woke up with a mild hangover. But back to tonight. I'm dancing like a fool with a few ladies - but sometimes accidentally flinging them or myself into people around me... I was great. I handed the geo VP a pre-roll of the 19-blend 3-pack... fucking shit is so strong, it made Paul puke when he smoked it. 

Jim smokes, so he appreciated it. And now, unfortunately, my co-workers think I'm a pot head. We have a drop-dead gorgeous black woman named Laura in accounting. Her husband is in accounting too - a sweet heart. I look at her and say "You only live once, Laura" I smile. and say "After your husband murders me". I ordered a MacCallan Sienna, Speyside rum. Pure alcohol.Even my co-workers next to me notice the vapors coming out of my ex-hales. It could literally be lit on fire. I teared up when Ophelia began talking to me. 

We had talked before about Theresa, and how she was declining, the MAID application, etc... I said I'm sorry, I didn't mean to cry. She says to me "You know what? You are the most manliest man here, showing your emotions like that. " She was so sweet. I tearfully thanked Ying and her husband for my birthday cake and stuff. It did touch me. 

And then, later on in the evening, I'm half drunk, I walk into the unoccupied men's bathroom only to see Anita's sister trying to re-arrange her top. She turns, is clothed, embraces me drunkly and says "oohhhh sorrrry I was adjusting my topp" My god her skin feels good. But she has f*cking crazy eyes. She has the look of a psychopath, and hot. We separate. 

Later on, I tap Anita on the shoulder and say "Sorry I walked in on your sister" and she says "oh I know, she told me" I told her I didn't see anything. I go get another top shelf. Johnnie Walker Platinum Blend. Tastes like burnt oak trees. Potent. I'm extremely tipsy. I switch to a diet coke. I run into the CEO of the company. He is happy to see me. 'I am just happy to see you happy. You are a good man' I thank him for his generosity.

And the Data Science guy Andy got super drunk at this party too. He ended up grinding against some women he shouldn't have. I'm sure it's going to be an awkward moment at work when he gets back on Monday. 

Apparently he was downing Champagne at a heroic rate, non-stop until he passed out drunk. A couple got so drunk both had to be carried into their taxi cabs. I dipped out at 12:20. The party ended at 2 am, they went to a bar and continued until 3:30. 

I went into work the next day at 9, hungover, and dead.