The Darkness is slowly lifting

The Halifax-Dartmouth bridge, photographed by a Nova Scotian photographer.  We used to live in Dartmouth, Nova Scotia, and then Halifax, Nova Scotia for about 12 years. 

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Unbelievably, my mood has started to lift. I no longer have the urge to cry as soon as I get home. Yes, I do feel sad from time to time, but I don't feel such a heavy weight around my neck anymore. I feel at peace with her passing.  

It came with the sudden realization that I am almost ready to date again. I no longer have guilt or shame in seeking companionship. She wanted me to find it after she passed. I'll continue to mourn her every day. Not an hour goes by I don't have a thought about her. 

I have to buy some new clothes this month. I'm tired of wearing the same clothes. Time for a new change, new year, and hopefully a better future. 

I'll know any new relationship that may happen will be bitter sweet, because I'll think back to moments in time when she was alive, back when things were great, we were in love, and life was good.

I yearn for those days I'll never get back. But I have to continue on, she would have wanted me to do that. I don't give up that easily, I think this old bastard has a few miles left in him.