The Loss of a Spouse

 

I can't even imagine.... that's the line you hear the most when people ask about your situation. Dealing with loss and managing through the pandemic has challenged everyone. Myself included. However, I no longer dwell in the pit of despair I once existed in. 

You'd be surprised how comfortable being miserable really is. But now, no. You carry the grief with you, and transform that loss into developing the new you. Because that life which existed before the awful day? 

That person no longer exists. 

You harden as a person and become impervious to fear. 

One wonders how many Covid-19 widows are out there. Wondering what the hell they are to do with their lives now. The quality of your life is depends on the quality of your thoughts. 

When life puts you on blast, strap up or you will get thrown off the road of life pretty quick.

Advice to those widowed would be, keep your mind in the present. Keep busy, try not to ruminate over a memory or event. Reach out to friends and family for support. Seek professional counselling. Write about your grief. Share your experiences with those online. 

Life ends for everyone. I do not believe in any of this resilience bullshit you hear at corporate events. Transformation is hard. David Goggins was right: People will avoid pain and rush to comfort. There is nothing wrong with pain. Managing it is the key. David Goggins is an inspirational speaker who took the Navy SEALS test 3x before finally being accepted. 

He had a pretty fucked up childhood of unbelievable abuse. And he rose above it all. 

My new whip - 2018 Rav4 XLE AWD. 2.5L 4 cylinder w/6 speed automatic. The sound system in this thing is incredible. It is a very thirsty vehicle though. I don't mind, especially since I had it Sport mode most of the time. That mode holds the transmission 1 gear down for max power. 

One thing I noticed right away compared to my 2007 Subaru Impreza, this vehicle is very quiet. You can't hear the drive train. The Subaru, you could hear it whining when you slowed down to 2nd and 1st gear. The transmission was also notorious for getting stuck in reverse. It also had mediocre gas mileage. 

The cross lane traffic alert blares out over the radio, and the first time it happened I jumped. It uses radar to detect approaching vehicles or pedestrians. You should never run the vehicle through an automatic brush car wash. Because if the paint gets damaged on the bumpers, where the sensors are, it stops working. 

And it's expensive to get that professionally re-painted to Toyota's specification. Today I discovered there is a usb and audio input jack. Lovely, I'll have to load up with some hip hop. Of course.