Going Back

 

The A&W Nashville fried chicken isn't a great sandwich. It's too crispy/over-cooked meat, and the cheese is terrible. When the TV ad has a young man saying "In my 17 years of existence, this is the best I know" is like getting advice on a car from a hooters girl. Moving on.

I am not ready to go back to Nova Scotia to visit her yet. There are too many memories and moments packed into 11.5 years I lived there. The people I loved very dearly are all dead now. Imagine going back to a place full of memories and finding nothing resembling what was.

You become a ghost. Unpacking that lifetime will not be easy. Going back will have to be done in 2022. Theresa would have given me that grace. In fact, she would have told me not to bother. 

When people die they leave echoes of the past lodged into your mind. It can bring back traumatic memories. And it is here where I need to seek professional guidance on how to unpack them.

Dating has become a fanciful nightmare. I do enjoy meeting new people, but I find it wears you down over time. I am afraid of nothing and no one. 

The unquenchable fire of rage has been diminished with time. It's ferocity has not. I focus now on kindness, patience, and honesty. These are traits most valuable to me. 

Finding these traits in other people is like searching for a needle in a haystack. You find a lot of dull needles and old fish hooks. 

I live by Marcus Aurelius's words: "Strength and honor"

Strength is easy; honor is not.