Wishing To Be Alone

 

2005. A year of manipulation. My useless step father died from a heart attack, and my then-mother decides she wants daily or twice a day phone calls from me. Her useless manipulation of my time, money, and attention is long over. Forever.

2019. My wife dies. Instead of getting sympathy, I get a question like "Are you SURE she's dead?"  - from my then-so-called mother. Unbelievable. The coldness and calculated awfulness is mind numbing.

No more.

Being alone isn't so bad at all really. No lies, manipulation, or deceit anywhere. You wonder why more people aren't alone. But they are. Most people live their lives on a hamster wheel, unaware they are travelling over the same piece of grass every hour of every day, in loops. Their behaviors are perfectly awful.

I remember once, sitting with Theresa on the beach of the U.S. Virgin Islands. In that moment, I realized I'd rather be alone with her on the couch in Dartmouth, Nova Scotia instead of this awful, artificial place. We never belonged there.

So be it.