6 Years?

 

2019 - 6 years already? Sorting through Tinder, I quickly realized I had no traction. My interactions were wooden, mainly because the people I interacted with were mostly scammers.

Oh sure, I've had a couple of dud dates  -  but still, what am I doing? The question about success is a stinging one. To be 55 and single is awful. You have to realize, that the dating pool in this age group is awful.

I thought back to those difficult conversations I had with my late wife Theresa. She said "I want you to be happy once I'm gone, find someone new." I choked up, and held back tears.

I still vividly remember that conversation.

The poor woman was in dreadful shape. I was loyal. She could count on me. Even in her darkest hour. Meanwhile, her useless family was out not giving a fuck. To hell with them. 

And mine too.

Theresa always held my respect.

I never lost sight of what was important to me.

Is it fair to judge yourself for being alone?

I once heard a psychologist tell me "The only person who is judging you is yourself."

And he was right.

No one should be ashamed of living a life after losing a spouse. I'm a good person. I don't break the law and I work hard.

One thing I learned long ago is you can't change the past. Don't fret over things that torment you. Guilty memories of being angry or unkind. This crap is unnecessary and causes deep wounds.

Live your life like she wanted you to.

At least Kitty is here. And you know what? Even when he eventually passes away, I'll still be fine.

Because I'll always have that memory of her.

💖